We never got to see our Lolo Cosme, for he passed away when my father was in high school. But of Salud and Cosme’s grandchildren, I and my two sisters were fortunate enough to have spent more time with Lola Salud than our cousins. We lived in her large house until I was eight. My parents’ house is built on an adjacent lot and a connecting gate allowed Lola Salud to check on us every day. We went to church every Good Friday with Lola Salud. It was the only day she went to church and she would wear her best clothes and jewelry to listen to the Seven Last Words of Christ. Since Lola Salud was too frugal to hire a driver, we would take turns driving her around during school breaks, listening to her favorite CDs– Are You Lonesome Tonight, Only You and Love Letters In The Sand were on heavy rotation.

It’s difficult to write a short piece about a loved one of whom you have so many fond memories and whose numerous admirable traits you can give so many examples of. I am not at all certain how to begin and where to end.

As a young child, I used to sleep in Lola Salud’s bed rather than with my siblings. Lola Salud had a sweet tooth and she always kept a jar of candy by her bedside table. We would listen to the drama program on the AM radio for a while. After that, she would turn off the lights and gently stroke my hair while she, in her soft voice, taught me Visayan songs like Kamingaw Sa Payag and Usahay, and regalled me with war stories that never ceased to stoke the fires of my imagination. But these war stories, as plentiful and as exciting they may be, shall have to be recounted in another blog. Instead, I shall write of the story of how my Lola Salud and Lolo Cosme met and fell in love.

They met in Silliman University in Dumaguete City, Negros Oriental. Salud Almendras Ralota was a Pre-Med student, while Cosme Leopoldo Cagas was a member of the faculty (although he was not her teacher). While Salud was doing her experiments in the Chemistry lab, Cosme suddenly sneaked up to her and kissed her without prelude. This was in the early 1930s, and Salud, who was forbidden by her mother to have a boyfriend, broke into tears. Evidently, the weeping was not due to any lack of kissing skill on Cosme’s part, however, for soon, Salud and Cosme became an item. When Salud’s mother, Matea, got wind of her eldest child’s budding love affair, she ordered Salud to cut off any ties with Cosme and go to live with her in Santa Cruz, Davao del Sur post-haste.

Despite the distance, Salud and Cosme continued their courtship by mail. Cosme was eloquent in his flowery prose and Salud’s unexperienced and vulnerable heart did not withstand the steady assault upon it by Cosme’s romantic correspondence. Salud was pining for a male protector who could replace the void left by her deceased father that her stepfather failed to fill. She also did not feel at home in Santa Cruz, Davao del Sur at the time, having grown up in Danao, Cebu where her mother left her with their relatives. Salud often complained that her mother had found a new family to take care of and that her stepbrothers and stepsisters used to intercept some of Cosme’s love letters and deliver them to Matea instead of her. After a while, Cosme arrived in Santa Cruz to formally ask for Salud’s hand in marriage. He vowed to cherish no other love than Salud’s until the end of his life.

Cosme brought Salud to Dagatan (now San Vicente Alto), Oroquieta City in Misamis Occidental, his hometown, where he introduced her to his  brother, Jacinto, who was a law student at the time. The brothers were flamboyant of character and attracted females with innate ease. Unfortunately for Salud, Cosme had no compunction about returning the favor to the fawning women. To keep her occupied, Cosme encouraged Salud to pursue her college studies  at the Misamis Junior College where she obtained her teacher’s degree.

Nonetheless, Salud and Cosme’s union had its moments of bliss as they were blessed with five boys: Cosmelito, Ruben, Gary, Douglas and Riorito. The couple was also fortunate in their business and farming endeavors. However,  Salud’s wish to have a baby girl was thwarted when her daughter Guadalupe was born too prematurely after a storm rocked the barge Salud was taking on her way home from Cebu to procure dry goods for her store. Hence, my father, who is the youngest in the brood, is named after a female actress and his nickname is Inday.

After the war, the couple busied themselves in the rebuilding effort. Aside from managing their farmlands in the Misamis and Zamboanga areas, Salud and Cosme engaged in separate business endeavors. Salud had her dry goods store in the nearby town of  Jimenez,  while Cosme had his lumberyard in the neighboring town of Tudela. At the same time, Cosme acted as Headmaster of Northwestern Mindanao Academy in Tudela, a secondary school that they also owned. Since the children went to school in Northwestern, only Salud was left in Oroquieta during the weekdays, as the condition of the roads at the time made it impractical for Cosme and the boys to go home daily. Apart from Cosme’s wandering eye, the time apart probably contributed to the deterioration of Salud and Cosme’s marriage. It became clear to Salud that Cosme had forgotten the vows that he made in courtship.

When Cosme suddenly died of a hypertensive stroke in 1959, Salud was not alone in grieving for her man. Salud felt bleakly lonely, but she had five boys to raise. Summoning up her silent courage and indomitable spirit, Salud relocated to Davao del Sur in 1961 to tend to her inheritance from Matea and start a new life.

Lola Salud went on to live for 48 more years after the death of Lolo Cosme. She was a beloved mother who, singlehandedly for the most part, raised five boys into men of substance.

Tucked inside Lola Salud’s passport found in her dresser upon her death, was a love letter from Lolo Cosme. The letter was written in the neat cursive of Lolo Cosme:

Alone 10:00 P.M.

January 9, 1934

Dearest Salud,

Alone, amidst the tranquility of the night when everyone is in sweet dream; alone to disturb the peacefulness of the hour only to breathe the cold breezes; and alone to solemnly meditate how true your words to me—but oh! how in a sudden, I am filled with dismay and disappointment that curtail the candle light of my happiness and dig hole to my lonely grave… at last in the course of time your promise to marry me after three years warms my earnest-dying heart. What a joy to have the key to enter the alluring gateway–! Yes, it is through this fervor that animates my very being so that in this momentous hour I stroll on these pages inscribing in full my sincerest and ever-living testimony and promises upon which I shall, will and should stand, maintain, walk on and live with now and forever. In case, I ever fail to follow all of these, then give no mercy on me, curse me and forsake me for then I will never be worthy of your love and to marry you. And then I will never regret to suffer the cruelties and misfortunes of life. I should not blame you then but I alone to bear.

With deepest sincerity and sacredness, I solemnly promise to you in testimony of my love: that I love you and will always love even to the end of my life. Since, now and then I will not and never will cherish other love than yours—Your heart is the very precious jewel to me more than all other riches in the world.

I promise that I will aspire, as has always been my constant prayer, for a better place wherein I can assure you of comfort and happiness. I should never fail to strive further for your sake and contentment.

I promise that from now and no more than three years after I will take you from the hands of your parents to be my loving wife, pinanga ug pinorong porongan sa akong gugma, linumsan sa akong pagbale ug parayeg. Isaad ko nga ikaw akong lipayon aron nga ikao dili magbasol nga nahimo ikao’ng asawa. Ayaw huna-huna-a nga ikao dili unya kanako malipay. Tongod sa dako kong gugma kanimo, it is my guide to a better place. Better place, yes, it is this that I will prepare for you.

I promise that I will be faithful to my words. I should mean what I say. I should never bold to attempt to take you from other hands if I ever mean to play poker with you. I have a heart who always cherishes your name and is always proud of you. Yes, there are those who are playing on love, but please, in due respect of my sincerity, mention me as not among them. I adorn and worship you with love greatly different from others. The purity of affection seeketh for your only happiness and comfort. If I could realize this then and only then the world will be mine.

Now that you have hinted me to a better course, I am always glad to take it, of course, with you as my only inspiration. I will take it for your sake, for after this, I shall be worthy to marry you and please you. Believe me, that I will take engineering with an ultimate aim that is for your happiness and contentment…