My babies are growing up too fast.

While Wade is still making his first forays into the art of communication, Chelsea is on the runaway shinkansen. I.e.,”Mommy, dapat Letters Factory not Letter Factory because there are many letters” or “Mommy, dapat Pajamas Party not Pajama Party because there are many pajamas”…

But with the incredible amount of highly-diverse information that comes out of her mouth, there is one thing that my three-year old daughter makes clear to me and to pretty much everybody she meets, everyday, no matter the time and place– she wants to be Barbie.

Barbie with the yellow hair, blue eyes and pink dress. The ubiquitous Mattel product that has so infiltrated my daughter’s subconscious that she now has the dolls, the accessories, the clothes, the books, the toys, the bags and yes, the videos. She now wants me to buy special crayons because she tried to color her hair yellow but her “non-barbie” crayons “don’t work”. She doesn’t want to have her hair cut because she wants her hair to grow as long as Rapunzel Barbie’s. She pulls down her shirt and demonstrates to me: “Look, mommy, I have big boobies!” And oh, she has re-baptized herself Patricia Rae Princess Chelsea Barbie (while she calls her brother “Wadey-Pooh” or “Wadey-Boots the Monkey”…)

I cannot help but cringe.

On the good side, she volunteers to eat her yellow vegetables and fruits. As long as her Pediasure is laced with Nesquik strawberry, she will soon have her pink lips and cheeks. The “you are what you eat” mantra obviously stuck. I don’t know how she plans to acquire her blue eyes, though.

This afternoon she asked me if we can go to Disneyland tomorrow, because she didn’t see Barbie there when we went. So I explained to her that Barbie is from another kingdom and hence, her castle is different from the Disney princesses’ castle. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Barbie is really a commoner with a gay boyfriend.

Chelsea does love Maria of Sound of Music, Fiona of Shrek, Dora, Ariel of Little Mermaid, Belle of Beauty and the Beast, and Lilo. But she tells me that they are only her friends, because “they don’t have yellow hair”. But what about Gabriella of High School Musical, she sings really well, doesn’t she? Yes mommy, but I’m Sharpey because I want yellow hair.

Even my son Wade plays with Chelsea’s assorted Barbie merchandise nowadays. They squabble whenever Chelsea gets all-territorial and asserts that Barbie is pink and thus, only for girls, and that Wade should go play with his “blue toys”. I still don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

I hope Chelsea outgrows her fascination with all things Barbie soon. Otherwise, I may have to place her on rehab and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. With Wade around, I simply can’t risk contagion.

Because I sure hate Ken.