There is a dearth of cooking skills in my family. In our kitchen, the cook always happens to be anybody else but us. But there is an abundance of strong women of remarkable resiliency whose lives must be written about at one time or another, if only to preserve the tales orally recounted to me in my youth by my grandmothers. The fogging of my memories is inevitable–the bulk of the story-telling was done some 25 years ago. I cast these memories in this medium, hoping that these accounts of generations past will be retold to my children, never to be dishonored by their oblivion.

This is Matea’s story.

Matea Almendras was born towards the end of the 19th century in Danao, Cebu. She was eldest sister to Sofronia A. Tecala and Paulo Almendras, and was a half-sibling to some others as well. Reputed to be pleasing to the eye and possessed of a vivacious personality, she was first married to Nestor Ralota. They were blessed with two children named Salud (b. June 26, 1912) and Jesus.

Only a few years into their marriage, Nestor contracted leprosy and was sent to Culion, Palawan for compulsory segregation and experimental treatment. Communication with his young wife was probably scarce or non-existent, given that the inhabitants of Culion even had to devise their own internal currency due to the widespread fear by the outside populace of contagion by mere contact with a leper’s belongings. With her husband miles away in strict isolation and with scant hope of him ever returning to Danao, Matea became lonely.

She began seeking solace with dashing Miguel Batoto, who was then married to a first cousin. Since Matea belonged to a prominent clan in Danao, the unavoidable rumors of their frequent assignations spread like wildfire. To escape censure, Matea eloped with her paramour, venturing to the frontierlands of Davao. Soon, their affair produced a son, Cesar.

Not long thereafter, Matea was introduced to a Davao native by the name of Amancio Bendigo. It is said that Amancio was Matea and Miguel’s farmworker when they met. Upon Miguel’s early demise, Matea and Amancio wed and settled in Sta. Cruz, Davao. Their union resulted in five children: Amancio Jr., Dominador, Rodrigo, Rebecca and Liliosa.

When Matea died in Sta. Cruz, Davao in 1961, she was wealthy, landed and accorded the portentous title of Doña. Her remains lie in what used to be the grandest mausoleum in Sta. Cruz built on a large family cemetery. A major thoroughfare in Sta. Cruz is named after her.

But what had become of Nestor? When my Uncle Cosme visited Culion, Palawan in 2001, he requested to be allowed to check the archives for Nestor Ralota’s records. There, he discovered evidence that Nestor never did leave Culion. Nestor’s death records prove that he died in 1917–after the marriage of Matea to Amancio Bendigo.

Matea and Nestor Ralota’s marital ties survived long enough to render Matea’s subsequent marriage to Amancio Bendigo void. But in reality, Nestor’s final kiss when he was shipped off to the colony in Culion, never to cast eyes upon Matea again, proved to be more fatal to their sacramental vows than death itself.